chemically-imbalanced-romance:
the-small-one-to-rule-them-all:
the-small-one-to-rule-them-all:
Every single time I say the phrase “I was classically trained in the art of multiple choice tests” everyone in the room who’s not a millennial laughs at my joke while all the other millennials in the room immediately look like they just walked in on a funeral by accident.
teach me please
Why? It has nothing to do with the real world and I’m mad that the school system taught me how to take multiple choice tests rather than write a report for a job or properly research what issues are important when deciding who to vote for in an election. Or like… accurate history. You know. Actual stuff you need to know to be a person.
im currently stuck in the school system and I want cheat codes
Okay, I completely understand wanting to know the actual stuff, I want to know those things too, and those are things im working on learning. but to be able to get to the information that tells me these things I need to survive this hellhole of a system and im bad at tests, which means i dont survive very well.
Okay fine.
- Read the entire question twice to look for tricky wording. If you’re allowed to write on it circle or underline words like NOT or EXCEPT or other things your brain might skip over. This will make it less likely you’ll skip over them.
- Read all the answers before answering. Sometimes the wrong answers are so stupid you don’t even have to work out the problem or try to remember the thing.
- If the entire test is about the same subject (Colonial America for example) answers might be found in previous questions. Like question #6 might ask who wrote Common Sense. You might remember that back in question one it said “In Common Sense by Thomas Paine” and there’s your answer. This happens a lot more often than you’d think.
- If you don’t know the answer cross out the answers you know are incorrect. If there are four answers but you know one of them is wrong your odds of guessing right just went up from 25% to 33%. If you can eliminate two answers then you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right.
- If you can’t eliminate any answers at all guess C. The placement of correct answers isn’t completely random and C is the answer slightly more often than other answers. If you guess randomly your odds of getting the answer right actually goes down.
- Read study guides and take practice tests. Actually read them. Especially if they’re written by the same person who wrote the test you’ll be taking. You’ll be more likely to pick up on their quirks and what kind of trick questions they write if you use the study material. You’ll also know what to study and what to leave.
- For sections where there’s a list of words you have to match to definitions read the words first. You’re probably more likely to know the definition of a word then the word that goes with a definition. (or time period or math method or whatever). Answer the ones you know and leave the ones you don’t until you’re completely done with that section. Then look at your remaining words and definitions and match them to the ones that sound the least ridiculous.
- Don’t take a test on an empty stomach unless you’re fasting for religious reasons. I don’t care if you haven’t eaten breakfast in twenty years. You’re gonna eat something before you take that test.
- Remember that taking multiple choice tests is a skill that not everyone is naturally good at and it’s a skill that means absolutely nothing in the real world. So however you do on this test doesn’t dictate your worth as a person.
As someone who is also classically trained in the art of multiple choice test, I can confirm
Yeah I learned all this shit too. And like while most things public school teaches you is such fucking bullshit, this is actually true.
I’d like to add: we were taught, and this definitely held true, that on the english portion of the ACT, the shortest option is usually the answer. If you don’t know, or are running out of time, pick the shortest one!
Another pro tip from another test taking pro; for matching sections, do what’s mentioned above, but if there are 2 or 3 you just don’t know, HAVE THEM ALL PICK THE SAME ANSWER. This way you get at least one of the answers right. If you guess, yes you could get them all right, but if you guess wrong, at min you will miss two matches because you took an answer from another match. Guessing on a matching section with 3 matches left gives you like 13% chance to get them all right (I’m good at tests not math), but answer all the same gives you 100% chance to get one right. And getting one point is better than missing three.
ALWAYS write something down, especially for multi point questions. Most teachers are looking for specific things and will give partial credit for minuscule things. Repeat things in the prompt, write down something you vaugly remember about it in class. Literally anything is better than a blank page.
Bonus tip because why not, for math and science tests requiring calculations/problem solving/whatever, memorize the formulas. Even if you are only vaugly aware of how to use them. Game the points you need. I have gotten solid b’s on tests without getting a single answer right, and it’s because 2/3rds of the points in these types of tests usually comes from the execution. ALWAYS write the complete formula down, and then what the variables you know mean. A + B = C. A = 2. Congrats that’s 2 points right there. You just proved you know the formula, and you have the answer for one of the three variables even though it was from the prompt. Even if you know shit all, set variables and solve it. You know that if you solve b, you can solve for c because that one is easy, but can’t remember how in the world to get b? Make some shit up and “solve for b”. Use a formula from class you know how to do quick and easy, or if you are at a complete loss, just declare a number and roll with it, but write it down. B =17. Congrats, this is probably wrong, you’ll miss points for this, but now you have b and a so you can solve for c. C will also be wrong but you proved you know how to do that equation, and MOST teachers will give you credit for getting a wrong answer with wrong info using the correct equation.
TLDR; always show your work and write formulas down as is and you can scrape an extra few points without any work.
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I get that being frozen for 100 years is a tough thing to go through but honestly Aang should have used it for comedy more
Katara: wow so this is Omashu
Aang: back in my day it was called weed city
Sokka: I’m… pretty sure it wasn’t
Aang: that’s what the fire nation wants you to think
Bumi, the second they arrive: welcome to weed city
Sokka: what the fuck
Imagine them getting stuck in Ba Sing Se and Aang just being like, “I wonder if the sandal pit is still here.”
And everyone’s like, “The what?”
And he’s all, “The sandal pit. It’s where I buried all the sandals of people who were mean to me and my friends.”
Cut to the gaang walking around town, and Aang’s muttering about it being around here somewhere, when suddenly Toph stops and says, “There’s a big pile of sandals about fifty feet below that cobbler’s house,” and Sokka loses his mind.
This raises the question of whether Aang is telling the truth or if Toph and Bumi just happen to have the same sense of humor as him.
(via i-am-avacado)
i need john mulaney to guest star in the marvelous mrs.maisel. he doesn’t even have to change anything about himself for the role. he already screams 50s domestic husband/comedian. he’s perfect
(via in-love-and-jeph)
teenage diplomats that are wise beyond their years till they start goofing off and roasting each other in council meetings
(via alsoapun)
everytime I hear about children of the corn I think about the guy I met at comic con who actually lived in the town they filmed that movie at, and on the farm where they filmed in the corn.
he was a teenager at the time and him and his friends would get drunk on moonshine and rustle the corn and let the air out of the tires of the production team’s trailers and shit.
and now there’s Wikipedia pages about how the children of the corn set was haunted and they thought they angered god but it was really just drunk hillbilliesI don’t like adding to posts but I also have a funny story like this, so I was watching the movie the Blair witch which takes place in burkettsville maryland, which to me is so funny because that is were my grandfather lives and the town is literally just old people and cows with their main street consisting of a post office. Well anyway he told me that after it came out people were coming in like bus loads to the town to find the witch and my grandfather lives up in the Mountain area and people were up in his property trying to find the witch and it made him angry so he went out and hung up stick people and stacked rocks and it freaked the people out so they started thinking something was out there when really it was my 80 year old Italian grandpa who wanted people out of his woods.
We had ghost hunters come to a historic house in my town to film and if you think every high school kid in town respectfully stayed at home that night instead of going to fuck up that filming you’re dead wrong.
this is comforting, actually, sometimes paranormal things are just a bunch of bored people dicking around in the woods.
New favorite cryptid: locals
(via penguinpatrolerarmy)
i personally love how ambiguous this is like did you forget how the important thing turned out or did you straight up forget the important thing was ever a thing and didn’t do it
either way it captures the vibe perfectly
(via penguinpatrolerarmy)
